Mo

I've really been enjoying Mo lately. Yesterday I watched her and a friend play in their little fort under the counter. They pulled all the tupperware out and then crawlled in and out. They would close the doors and then pop out to say "peek-a-boo" in a non-verbal sort of way. It was very fun to watch.

Friday Jo and Mo and me went to the zoo. !I thought it cost money but snuck in and then Jodi told me what a idiot I was for trying to sneak in when it was free). It was a bit of a let-down because I wanted Mo to be totally into it. While she got pretty excited a few times, she got really excited about the bright yellow M+M machine.

Since we are gone a lot, Mo sleeps in a pack-and-play about 4 nights a week. I love to get her up to bring her home because she falls right back to sleep on my shoulder. It's great and I don't want the music to ever stop. She also does it after naps except she is ussually crying and then you get in there and she frantically gets her Naa-Naa so that the parental unit doesn't leave it behind. Then she puts her ehad on your shoulder and pats your back. I don't knwo why she does that, but it is absolutely wonderful.

Come over sometime and I'll show you hours of child-footage and slide-shows. I'm such a dork.

Brian McLaren is helpful

http://www.beliefnet.com/blogs/godspolitics/2006/12/brian-mclaren-politics-of-joy.html

Take 5 minutes and read this. It's by a smart man who has always taken care to deliver a prophetic message in a humble and gentle way.

"I know this is a "God's Politics" blog, and I know that this won't sound very political, but in the end, it sort of is, especially ten days before Christmas.Earlier this week, I was speaking to a group of Methodist ministers and we sang the Christmas carol "Joy to the World." Two moments in the song took my breath away.The first came when I sang "let every heart prepare him room." If the carol is right, the way earth receives God's "prince of peace" is through individual hearts like ours. By making space, by opening our hearts to Christ, by letting our lives be the stable and manger into which good news quietly comes, by rendering the vacuum and vacancy within us vulnerable to the incoming of the Spirit ... we become, like Mary, "theotokos" - God-bearers.That might sound kind of mystical, not political, and I guess it is. It is something that I believe we all can actually experience: the possibility of preparing room in our hearts so that Christ truly comes.That brings me to the second transcendent moment in the carol for me this week: "No more let sin and sorrows grow, nor thorns infest the ground. He comes to make his blessings flow far as the curse is found."The coming of a good king in the ancient world meant a lot, and although kingly language may sound archaic today, I think we can recapture its meaning when we think of a thorny land, polluted by sin and cursed by sorrow, becoming verdant and fertile and healthy again - blessedness flowing over the land like a warm breeze.And of course, this is where the personal and political meet. Thinking about justice, talking about peace, debating public policy, and working for social change are important ... but not as a substitute for the very personal choice to "prepare him room" in our hearts, so that (as the saying goes) we can be the change we want to see in the world.The way "earth receives her king" (and the blessings he brings) is not by bombs and guns and wiretaps and coups; not by aggressive blog postings or passionate media pronouncements by pundits. Rather, the king (and the kingdom) come first to the quiet hearts of humble people who "prepare him room," and the joy flows to the world through them.That's the language of spiritual formation, no doubt. But how can there be political transformation in the external world of thorns, sins, and sorrow if our inner lives don't become the manger into which hope, healing, empowerment, love, and joy are born?What happens in the political realm - in the public world where people treat one another justly or unjustly, peacefully or violently, as neighbors or as enemies - can never be separated from what happens in the personal realm. And the reverse is true, too.That's the source of the politics of joy.Brian McLaren is chair of the board of Sojourners/Call to Renewal. A former pastor, he is now an author and speaker. Rumor has it that his latest book, The Secret Message of Jesus, would make a great Christmas gift".

Merry X-mas

What did you get for Christmas? I got a bad attitude. In fact, from now on, I want to be called B.A. Baron. I'm going to paint my VW black with a red stripe and I refuse to fly. I don't really have a bad attitude, but Jodi and I are trying to figure out the whole Christmas thing. Luckilly, Mo is young enough that we didn't have to have everything worked out yet. By next year though, we will have to have a plan and carry it out maticulously. It's obvious to me that we are going to screw her up. She's either going to grow up a socialist, or rebel and become a republican.

I do think that how we handle X-mas is going to have a great impact on how our kids see the world around them. I pray that we do what is right and not just react to problems we see. Any theories out there on how to handle Christmas? I've heard a bunch, but I'm still looking for a good one. Even my idea of gathering up presents and burning them in the front yard lacks the full life-lesson and teachable moment I'm looking for.

By the way, I have the same problem with birthdays. In many other cultures, the birthday boy/girl gives presents rather than receives them. I just can't shake the negative feelings. Think: Healthy balance of tradition with prophetic voice.

Some New Music in 2006

I have found out about soem cool bands this year and wanted to pay homage to the bands and to those who turned me on.

Mark Kozelek/ Sun Kil Moon/Red House Painters -- Jonanthan turned me on to this band and later I saw him in Ann Arbor. He was great, but he yelled at a guy for talking during the concert. It was odd. Very quiet. My friend Sid got turned on too and we went to the show together. The first time I heard them on CD, we went to Jonathans' girlfriend at the time, Justine's Cottage. Jonathan and luke and i played beer-pong late into the night. Thanks for the referal.

Iron and Wine- I think I heard I+W before, but maybe not. Again Jonathan turned me on. My friend Sid is also a big fan and we have swapped CD's before. I think Wayne is a big fan too but we have never listened or discussed together.

Wilco- Donald Miller mentioned them in one of his books, but then I saw them at Farm Aid a couple summers ago. But then Jonathan gave me a couple CD's and I really got excited.

Grateful Dead- I had never heard of this band before this year, but heard them on the radio. They seem really interesting and I think I'd like to go see them. I hope they are touring this summer and I think I'll drive and go see them. I heard the lead singer only has 4 fingers on one of his hands and that there is some ice-cream named after him. They sound like a heavy metal band, but they aren't.

Sandi Patty- This music blew me away. She is really talented and uses the gift that the Lord gave her to praise His name. I love to sit in my apartment and crank her up to "11" and lay face down on the ground and cry and laugh and sing. If I ever get to see her live, I'll pay whatever it costs. I wonder if she tours with the Grateful Dead?

The Prarie Home Companion

Did you know that I really like Garrison Keiller? It's true. I am watching the movie right now and it's kind of a let down so far. When I used to work contact shifts with the kids a work, I used to think it would be cool to have the kids listen to the weekly program. I don't have much else to say on this post except that I love the music and I like to hear the stories about Lake Wobegone. Here's a sidenote about Woody Harrelson: His dad is serving life for murder.

Another interesting thing about an actress in the movie: Meryl Streep. Jodi told me last week that MS has anal cancer. I didn't even know you could get "anal cancer". That's not a cancer joke, but it is odd. I have been watching the movie for about 45 minutes now and can't figure out what the movie is about. Wasn't that a happy and positive post? I love being alive.

Here's the picture again.

What Calvin has to say about Emergent

Not John Calvin knuckle head. I found this at a guys blog I check regularly. You can find him at

bobhyatt.typepad.com/boblog/ . I think it also speaks about my condition. Wayne very kindly pointed out my ironic post last time and how even though I was posting about being positive, that I had to poke some fun. while I don't want to totally give up on sarcasm and cynicism, I do want to limit myself. (I'm the same way with meth. Only on weekends and holidays). Maybe I should stay out of the debat sphere alltogether. I've got this prophet-complex thoguh and want to always think that what I have to say is so revolutionary and important. Maybe I should just shut up and and start doing something about what I think.

On another note, I'm hoping to get this job with this church in my area and will probably be doing some more interviewing with them in the next couple weeks. They want to have somebody in place by mid January which would be great for me. I would love to start working with "normal"kids again and think it would help me in this struggle with being positive. I do wonder if my mental instability will limit how I can interact with them though.

Missed my Connection

So I have been on that Hippie Christian Web-site that I posted on last. It has calmed down and I am beginning to understand them a bit more and they are getting a better taste of my sarcastic and cynical flavor. The site however has really cause me to take a look at my outlook on life. Here's what I mean

1. I am a very negative person. I didn't want to admit it, but I am. This makes me perfect for the Emerging Church (I only sort of mean this and I know folks in the EC have fought hard to get rid of this label). I am very good at seeing problem areas in the Church, other people, and myself. Pretty much, I'm a whiney crab. But the good news is that I am starting to see through the perverbial fog. This site had me so charged up and ready to explode that I seriously couldn't sleep. I have never experienced that and it has more to do with the Fundy Hippies on the BB, but non-the-less, I slept for crap last week and the week before. But I'm starting to notice some things. I only post on threads that I disagree with and have taken things pretty personally. I feel like I have a personality disorder because one night I'll post and be very assertive and brazen and the next I'll be trying to be nice and make up. This brings me to my second point.

2. I am not really connecting with anybody. Not totally true, I feel like connect with Montana, but she is so easy going, she connected with the stuttering demensia lady at the nursing home my grandma's in. I also connect with Jodi though I have been so quircky and confrontational. This frickin' job search is killing me too I think. I don't hate my job by any means, but a person can only take so many rejection letters and go through so many interviews before he starts to get a complex. Which brings me to my next point.

3. I am going to get to spend some time with one of my best friends Nicky-poo in the U.P. next week. Me and mine and him and his are going to sit around the fire-place and talk and play Settlers and probably drink a couple beers. It will be very nice to see him and Katie. I am also taking some steps to fix my dark cloud by reading scripture because my wife modelled it for me and because Keith confronted me on it. I am not sure what I'll do, but maybe read some of Paul because I kind of hate him and need to get a better view of him and I want to read the gospels and study what Jesus said about eternity and the afterlife. My goal will be to read it not for information to use against others as I often do but rather to get closer to my creator.

4. I am going to try to become more conservative this week. Isn't that a weird thing to write? I was a lot better at being conservative than I am at being liberal and I don't like to suck at things so I'm going to try to regress. Any suggestions on how I can become more conservative? What time is Bill O'Reilley on? Is Dobson on once a day or twice and at what times? Exactly where IS the Planned Parenthood in Grand Rapids and do you have to use lead pipe for pipe bombs or can you use PVC?

Quit wasting your time reading this

Hey everybody. Quit wasting your time reading this and do something valuable with your time. I have been consumed by this crazy hippie bulletin board. If you have a few hours a day to spare, check it out. http://beeyeglad.com/phpBB/

Some interesting topics.
1. all masturbation is wrong and is fornication
2. people aren't being healed because they don't have enough faith.
3. alcohol is poison
4. Brian McLaren is a false prophet.
5. Christian is posessed by satan himself.

I must get back to the work of the people. sorry so short.

46Jesus replied, "And you experts in the law, woe to you, because you load people down with burdens they can hardly carry, and you yourselves will not lift one finger to help them. Luke 11:46

23"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cummin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. 24You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel. matt 23:23-24

A Positive Blog Post

I was kidding about my last Blog. I really am going to write about what I like about the church because it's healthy for me. What I like about the Church: 1. I am not sure I would be where I am today (maybe this is what i don't like -just kidding) if it weren't for good people in the church. There is a man named Larry Bruins who is a butcher. he helped me feel good about myself sometimes when I was a kid. He kind of followed me up the grades as a volunteer in my church. I disliked my church very much but Larry did a good job of making me feel liked. The church did a great job of letting me know I was loved- by Jesus- but not so good in letting me knwo I was liked. I got offtrack there... sorry. I remember cooking venison sausage on a "hobo stove". It was really fun and made me feel like a part of something good.

Later in life I moved to the same street as Larry. I didn't always treat his kids very well because we were pretty different and they were younger. I remember Larry taking me aside and encouraging me on my leadership qualities and how God will use me for good. I think i was in middle school. After I went to college and started to enjoy all the seed bearing plants that God had created I came home from Iowa and went to my old church with my parents. I had been out late the night before enjoying all that life had to offer. Larry hunted me down and told me after church that the missionary that had been there reminded him of what kind of man I would become. I wasn't really listening to the missionary, but it felt good that Larry believed in me. I remember thinking about the night before and how the two options conflicted and that I would never be a "good man". Larry was a butcher-thus the picture.

#2. Something else I like about the Church- The Cchurch helps people. Though the motives of the Church I believe are often off-based, the Church does often help people out who need help. I have been involved in helping others get involved as well as heard or read or observed other instances where churches have gotten involved in good things. This is good and what the Church is called to do.

#3. Education- The church has often been the center of study and thought for the world including hospitals, libraries, art, colleges, etc. This is also good. I will not go into how we have misused this aspect of goodness for our benefits because this is the "What I like about the Church" Blog. Just to clarify, I think healthy people, reading, creating things, and learning are good and have blessed society.

I can't think of any other good things right now. This is part of my problem. Most of my thoughts are on negative things. Can you guys add some things. PLease don't say stupid things though like: the Crusades, the assimilation of Native American Culture, WWJD bracelettes, or anything to do with Jim Dobson. Thanks.

What I LIKE about the Church

Authority?

I have been applying for jobs with churches lately. it's become kind of a hobby. When I get to work, I do a fewq things and then I go to a couple web-sites that post jobs for youth pastors. I apply fro a couple a day. I got a questionaire from a church in phoenix today. I am contemplating whether or not to fill it out because they ask questions to find out what I think on some issues. I think they won't like my answers. This is what my post is about tonight.

The first thing they ask me is about my conversion experience. This is not in and of itself a bad question, but the fact that it's the first question tells me something about the church. The next questions are about personality types. I wonder if they are hoping for my personality type to be one that will help me make more converts. What would that be? and is that necessarily wrong? Then they want to know about my "call to ministry". Should I make something up here or say that we are all called to ministry and that I just so happen to not do anything else well. Is that a call? Do they want somebody reallt confident in their "skills" who will lead the ministry like our biblical patriarchs?

Pretty loaded picture eh? Either you're a good American or you question everything and oppose America. Those liberals with their propoganda. I tried to up-load a different one, but couldn't figure out how to work it. Now to the issue of authority. They next list their Statement of Faith. I have seen a lot of these and think they are good to have. After all, you don't want your youth pastor to practice satanism or sacrifice animals during youth night. But here is something they want their youth pastor to believe in, "The Scriptures, both Old and New Testaments, to be the inspired Word of God, without error in the original writings, the complete revelation of His will for the salvation of men and the Divine and final authority for Christian faith and life". That's a lot of capital letters.

1. What does "without error int he original writings" mean? Do we have the original writings? The answer is "No". How can I comment on whether or not the original writings have an errors? What would an error constitute? Is a pencil smudge an error or something beautiful that gives the work some character? Is a wrinkled scroll an error? What is perfection? Was the garden perfect? Will things be perfect in heaven? Even a perfect game in baseball isn't truly perfect. We have said no hits or walks is a perfect game. It allows for the pitcher to throw balls. These things are beutiful. Maybe not perfect. Do I believe that scripture is "perfect and without error"? Maybe. Maybe not... But it's beautiful.

2. The teachings are important and all we have to go on besides our common sense and what our fellow man has deemed good. Thes ethings put together and the work of the Holy Spirit are what guide us in our living and behavior. "the complete revelation of His will for the salvation of men and the Divine and final authority for Christian faith and life". I hope we don't use the interpretation of the N.T. that the American church of the 1800's used. Sola Scriptura. Scripture alone. Maybe I just don't get what the big deal is. I realize this has an important part to play in the church of today, but maybe there is more to it that interprating scripture. Maybe one of you Bible scholars can set me back on course, but there are parts of the scriptures that I will never teach on because I don't get them or becuase I think they go against the teachings of Christ. Oh crap, I just lost two of the 3 people who read my blog. What are Jesus' thoguhts on the destruction of humanity during the flood? Where does he stand on the issue of Saddam and Gamorrah? On the slaughter and destruction of Cannan? I would love to read a book on these issues by a scholar explaining how Jesus would be for these things. It would be great bathroom reading material.

So... once again, I got authority issues. I don't trust the authority of the Bible nor the white men who formed the cannon. But I think the Bible is a beutiful work of art written and formed by men seeking the truth. Men like me and men like you (or women like you). Can that be good enough?

Incomplete Church

My friend Keith showed me how to put pictures on my blog and now my life will never be the same. Thanks Keith.

I believe the Lord has blessed me with the gift of prophecy. I'm serious, though I made the language of that sentence intentionally kooky. I think we all actually have the gift of prophecy but often shackle that gift and keep it in its cage. Each time you or I see an injustice, Christ calls us to speak against it and act accordingly. I realize this may not be the Reformed Churche's definition of prophecy, but I see it in the scriptures and believe that the prophets were a voice that refused to tolerate injustice. They also cooked their food over animal poopy in some instances, but I don't think you have to do that to be a prophet.

Tonight I saw injustice and spoke out against it and it made me feel good but it also cost me. I think that our gifts are often the bane of our existance. My grandmother went to the hospital in Grand Rapids today for a routine thing. She is large and weak and needs a lot of help. Two men tried to help her onto a table but in the process, she broke her femur. (is that how you spell femur?) She is 82 and lives in an assited living facility. She is Dutch and doesn't want to be a burden to anyone. She would much rather suffer greatly than inconvenience anyone else. This may have added to the incident at the hospital. Maybe she didn't say, "Hey! You're about to break my leg!", or something like that. But now she is in a situation in which she has dreaded her whole life. She will have to go to a nursing home and will probably spend the rest of her days there.

Here is the injustice (other than how the orderlies fucked up the transfer from the table to her wheelchair). I arrived after she had been sitting in the ER for 6 hours while waiting for a room. As they wheeled her up, we talked about what will happen next and she said it was a "freek accident" and how she is feeling in general. Once we got to her room, we waited a few minutes for some other staff to help transfer her to the new bed. Remember the last time she got transfered and how that worked out. They asked a fourth staff- a nurse- to help with the move. The nurse was very put out as she was very busy and said, "I can help as long as it's quick". It's hard for me to communicate the tone. It wasn't awful, but it was cold and rude and in front of my grandmother who already doesn't want to be a burden. The anger welled up in me and I said, "Well, I hope it's not too fast because the last time she was moved they broke her leg. Remember she is in pain and should be handled gently". I wans't mean, but I was assertive and I thyink I got my point accross because we were asked to leave while they were transferring her. Later the nurse came and apologized, but it was too late.

My grandmother has never put her needs before others. Ever! Well, maybe not very often. I wanted to tell this nurse about my memories with my grandmother and the care she gave me as a child. How she helped me to form a view about God and marriage that I would never learn in a college or from the Bible. She is a hero and should be treated like one. I want to put a sign up that reminds busy nurses of who they are nursing. It bugs the hell out of me when my grandma talka about being ready to die, but she's right. She is ready to die. Soon she will. Sonner than I'd like. Because of carelessness, my grandmother may die in the hospital rather than in an independant apartment where she could govern much of her own affairs. They owe my grandmother and can't repay her what they took. I hope they can offer her respectful care for a hero while they have her.

I'm going to write another blog now about the broken church.

I've got your "dry spell" right here!

No, seriously, I am writing a new blog now Keith. It's right here.

Tonight I want to write about a lot of different things, but I will not. I am going to write about a men's retreat that the Lord told me I should organize and that you should go to if you have the necessary equipment. It will be a John Eldridge Retreat about becoming more masculine and how to get your wife to do what you want her to... HaHa. Just kidding. It will be on modern day apolegetics and how we can defend our faith from the secular humnanists that attack us every chance they get. Just kidding again. Those would both suck although if I combined the two could make a lot of money from good Christian men who are trying to do what they think is right. And maybe they are.

But this retreat will be a dialogue- buzz word for emergent- Christs' words. I got the idea from a few things I've been reading as well as my friend Keith who is always trying to read the Bible in order to live a better life. (seems pointless I know, but he did go to a Baptist Seminary). I think this will be a good retreat because it will allow for the men on the retreat to spend some time laughing and in silence and in contemplation about what Christ actually said (or at least the account we have of what he said). I've never looked at the scriptures like this and I'm excited to do so. I hope to implement a few experiential activities to help the men think through some issues that come to light to enhance discussion and understanding.

The interesting thing about this retreat is that I am not really an expert on any of this stuff and hope that my friends will come out of obligation so I can spend time with them. Two years ago I led a similar retreat except that most of the time was spent making home-brew and playing poker. This retreat will not incorporate any beer making, only beer drinking and poker later on Saturday night. It should be enlightening and if nothing else, fun and a respite from "normal life". I will hope to contact a few of you to help in the learning process in areas where you are gifted. Wayne, you have a special gift when it comes to understanding and communicating church history. I hope you can come and teach us a bit on the authority of Scripture and how the cannon was formed. Keith, I think you'll be the only pastor. When i have people whimpering from my emotional talks on important discussions, you may need to pray with them and give them good council on what to do now. Also, I don't know how versed you are in lection divina, but maybe you could help lead that too. Chad, you have a very important part too. (I don't think you even read my blog though). You need to bring the poker chips. Juanito, I want you to go because you are so smart and funny. I will even give you $5 off if you promise to be your ussual cheerful and funny self. The date of the retreat is January 4-7. Hope to hear soem feedback from you folks.

End of the War

“It is true, political problems are not solved by love and mercy. But the world of politics is not the only world, and unless political decisions rest on a foundation of something better and higher than politics, they can never do any real good for men. When a country has to be rebuilt after war, the passions and energies of war are no longer enough. There must be a new force, the power of love, the power of understanding and human compassion, the strength of selflessness and cooperation, and the creative dynamism of the will to live and to build, and the will to forgive. The will for reconciliation.” - from Introductions East & West. The Foreign Prefaces of Thomas Merton

I have been reading Merton quotes to post in blogs that I write. I found this interesting and complex. As our gov't tries to figure out what to do in Iraq now I find myself embarrased to not really know how different governmental processes work. When I listn to Diane Rehm on NPR, I am constantly reminded of how stupid I am concerning these things. The topic yesterday was about what to do now in Iraq. This week I read in the Press our 3 options of Go Big, Go Long, Go Home. So I thought i'd comment on my ideas of what to do.

After 911, I was pissed. I was convinced that we should go after somebody. First Afghnistan and then Iraq fed this anger or as Merton calls it, "the passions and energies of war". But as things progressed and things didn't really turn out as pleasant and cut and dry as I had planned, I started to wonder what the hell we were doing. Then I started looking for somebody else to blame. I have learned a lot about what I think about war in the past 6 years but haven't really figured out what to do in Iraq now. I was speaking with a friend yesterday about this and I said that we can't just leave, but I don't want us to stay either. How are we going to get out of there and not screw things up further?

The answer I have come up with is "I just don't know and I hope somebody else does". So, you have now just wasted a few minutes reading this and hearing no clear conclusions. Hope you're happy.

"Letters from a Skeptic"

My good friend Chad gave me a book by a guy named Greg Boyd. I don't know much about Mr. Boyd except he is an "open theist". This kind of means that he believes God is limited in what he knows about the future. He's limited because of how he set up his creation. Mr. Boyd is what the Church would call a heretic. Which really just means that he goes against the teaching of the Church. I actually think of myself fondly as a heretic. Maybe all you folks can start calling me the "King of the Heretics". Maybe you don't think you have areason to call me such an ugly name... I told my friend Keith tonight that I thought Paul was a homosexual. This should get any evangelical Christian pumped up especially since I have no facts or even reason to speculate. I simply do it because I knwo it will irritate people and I like to do that. I think this is funny mostly because evangelical Christian's love Paul and (in my humble opinion) hate homosexuals or at least treat them as second class citizens. Enough of the inflammatory rhetoric though.

My point about this book... Boyd is a professor of Apologetics and the book was written in 1994. I skimmed the book but got a pretty good synopsis of it. My question is this: "What the hell are we supposed to be doing?" This is pretty important to me. Much of my "Christian" life was devoted to making converts to Christianity so that the goats don't go to hell. In the past 3 or so years I have rejected much of what I believed or at least much of what I care about that I believe. Are we supposed to try to change people's minds about God (this is what i used to do) or do something else? Is that we we are supposed to do?

Th obvious other option is a social/works based gospel or some kind of combo. My ultimate question and point in writing this blog is getting my thoughts on paper to try to figure out what I think. What place does apologetics have in my life. Have I bought into a social gospel so much that I may shy away from sharing any kind of apologetic with people I know? Am I more interested in right action or right thinking? What is God more concerend with? I am not even going to get into scripture because I don't think I can be objective. I guess what it boils down to is (I thik I was the first onw to ever ask this question. If somebody has already thoguht of it, don't tell me because I want to live life thinking I really contributed to the progress of man) "What is the Gospel?" What is the "good news"?

If I can't answer this, then how should I think about evangelism? If the good news is changing someone's mind, then what is the best way to do that? Obviously, brain-washing! We should be having brainwashing conventions to change how people think. That doesn't sound like America (or does it?). The only worse thing than being an atheist is being a communist, right (or being gay as we talked about before. We have chosen some pretty arbitrary things to despise in my opinion).

Obviously, I am not an advocate of a mind changing gospel (though I think there may be a place in the Church for mind altering subsatnces). But, do I believe there is anything worth fighting for in terma of the doctrine? What are the things that I care about enough to try to change somebody elses mind? I can't say nothing because I love to tell Chrisitan's that they are wrong on so many issues. Do I think a person needs to believe in the virgin birth in order to be saved? What about the resurection? What about the Bible? Although I definately have my opinions, rarely do I give them. I just don't see the point.

So here is my final paragraph which is supposed to persuade you to think how I do. I think God wants us to do what is right- which isn't news to any of us who suffered through Sunday School. God cares more that we do what is right than that we think right. If I show people how to love others and how to serve others and how to prophecy for what is right in this world, I am carrying out the gospel. If this is true, then can Muslims carry out the gospel? Can Budhists? Can communists? Can Homosexuals? Can I? If these people can live the gospel, then will they experience salvation? I hope so or I'm screwed.

Reading Again

Disclaimer: In my creating this blog-thingy I inadvertantly created two accounts and this is the post from the other blog (which no longer exists, thanks to my beautiful and smart wife).

Thanks to my friend, Keith from work, I have again found the love for reading. I don't think I even knew that i had lost it, but after reading the first chapter of "The Church on the Other Side", I remember how excited I used to get. I think this is McLaren's 2nd book and is about 8 years old but it's still pretty good. I wanted to post a few thoughts I have had while reading the first chapter.1. I love to read. As I stated earlier, reading is fun. In the middle of the chapter I went to Amazon and ordered two books that I've read but have lost: New kind of Christian and A Generous Orthodoxy. I'm going to let our room mate Hilary read NKofC because I think she'll like it.2. What do I want church to be? I had an interview tonight on the phone for this men's retreat I'm going on. (I'm not excited about it. In fact I'm nervous I'll hate it. But this "interview" made me think maybe it won't be as awful as I'd thought). But the guy, Bob, was asking me about things that I want to "work on" while I'm on the retreat. He didn't mean like a craft I found out but instead meant "emotionally". This made me nervous of course but I told him I wanted to wade through some of my discontent and skepticism aout the Church. So he asked me what would I like to see change within the church. I said I would like to see the Church become and authentic community where people's ideas are valued and celebrated. After I had said that I remembered readin in their brochure that they believe that when we are critical about something that it is ussually something we dislike in ourselves. I don't know if I believe that, but maybe in this instance it is true. In what ways am I un-authentic or disingenuous? (I'm thinking right now). Aaah. I want people to think I am all about social justice but when it comes down to it, I do just as little as anybody else. In fact, I hate this about myself and have tried to change it. I think this woudl take a radical life change. Most of my life has been about meetings with people and spending time hanging out. (Maybe there isn't anything wrong with this). I wonder how much of this I would need to give up? What do I need to sacrifice to prove to myself (and if I'm honest, prove to others) that I care about bringing God's justice to Earth?I actually had more thoughts than these, but wanted to highlite things I found telling and meaningful. I'll try to write more tomorrow.

Blogg Blogg Blogg all Day Long

I like it that you folks found my Blogg. I'm still getting used to blogger. I must tell you I just spent 15 minutes trying to figure out how to post a new blogg. I'm still learning to use one of these new fancy "computer" things.

I'm listening to Over the Rhine right now. If you haven't heard them before, check them out. they're from Cincinatti I think and are wonderful. Have you ever heard of Danzig or Metallica? They are a lot like those bands only, it's a female singer and it's mostly accoustic with a much jazzier feel. OTR is also exactly like Judas Priest except it's a husband and wife who sound wonderful and inspire me to do great things. Oops, the CD just changed to Grasshoppah which is a local GR bluegrass band (well, they used to be local but now moved to Portland with the rest of the hippies and artsy types). I do love music though and I need to give Kudos to my attractive and single co-worker who introduced me to some great music.

I want to write a bit about some things going on in my life. Lately, I have been very assertive and have been welcoming conflict of any kind. I ussually am pretty passive because I'm always afraid that i'll hurt people's feelings but for the past few weeks I have bot really cared about people's feelings and have been letting people how I feel before they are really even interested. As a Christian, peacemaker, and idealogical pacifist, this is a problem. I don't think I've been so called "sinning", but I haven't been too interested in trying to nurture people or really help them along in their lives. I think it's because I've been waiting to find out about a job in New Orleans that I have interviewed for. The pastor keeps saying, "We're close to a decision and I'll call you on such and such..." But then such and such a time comes along and he doesn't call. I'm sure there is a good reason, but I'm not really very sympathetic. So there is this anxiety about moving and working for the church again and doing youth ministry again and so forth. But I don't want to say, "Sir, please stop telling me you'll call me on such and such and then not call me on such and such. It makes me be mean to people and I am a pacifist and don't want to get into a fight because I'm anxious about wether or not I'm gonna get this job and I don't want my wife to hate me because I tell her that she 'needs to replace the shower curtain before I get home'". You can see my dillema.

I'm now going to tell you what I think about youth ministry and about the church. I started reading a lot of, so called "Emergent" literature, about 3 years ago. It was reeally nice and enjoyable because most of the books I read were all bitching about church and about people who are dumb and I really resonated with their complaining. I think I like to feel like I know more than everybody else. That's why I like bands that nobody has ever heard of and why I like Emergent stuff and why I am a Christian who doesn't like church. I can sit back and think..."Those dumb-asses. Can't they see what's going on. Judas Priest is so 20 years ago. Let me tell you about Wilco. Those evangelicals are so behind the times. Don't they know that Billy Graham knows nothing about post-modernism?" It's a sickness, this "I'm smarter than everybody" mentallity. But, as you know, "I'm down with the sickness". But back to what I think about the church and about youth ministry.

I wonder if Jesus has self-image problems with his Body. I always think about how stupid the disciples were and how they just screwed everything up. But if Jesus was irritated with his dim-whitted followers, how annoyed and dissapointed he must be with the Chruch today. (Another of my issues is seeing things as all good or all bad). Major issues in the church today I think Christian's are on the totally wrong side. Abortion, homosexual marriage, stem cell, social work, yadda, yadda, yadda. Most times I'm embarrased to be a Christian because of what people think of when I say I'm one. When I became a Christian, I was excited and thought how fortunate I was to be name "Christian" rather than "Muslim" or "Hindu". I'm seriously thinking about going by Chris again.

Youth Ministy: I wasn't sure what to do with all the Emergent stuff because it really changed how I view the Church. I find small churches much more beautiful than large ones. I don't think Emergent is saying big is bad, but what I value about church ussually manifests itself in small settings. But this Chruch in New Orleans is very small and I wonder how a youth minstry will function in such a setting. I don't really have any better ideas than anything else anybody is doing, so I suppose I'll just do that but do it "correctly". (See above paragraph on being smarter than everybody). I'm also nervous that after working with the kids from Wedgwood that I won't know what to do with "normal" kids. Maybe being this comfortable talking about masturbation, digital penetration, and anal insertion won't come in very "handy" (masturbation pun) in a youth group setting. I'll also be pissed if I start telling kids that they're in their offense cycle or to take a time out. These are the things I worry about while I'm waiting for the pastor to call.

I guess that wraps it up. Thanks for feeding my ego by reading what I have to write. i covered more controversial topics this time but probably won't get any "hits" because this post doesn't have any big names/themes in it like: Brian McLaren or Rob Bell or Nancy Pelosi or sex...sex...sex or Jerry Falwell but I guess I have plenty of time to talk about these things as well as James Dobson and Marilyn Manson and global warming.

Ramble... Ramble... Ramble...

I would like to start writing because I think it will help me process my life. My wife one time asked Brian McLaren how her husband could start writing books and he said to start blogging. I think he could have added "He needs to be smart and know how to use English good". But nonetheless, I will begin blogging as often as I can (hopefully daily). It should be fun because I am opinionated and pompous and like to argue. Hopefully we can all come to some better understanding of life and how to live.

For my first Blog, I want to write about a mens' retreat that I went on. I need to preface things by saying that I hate men's retreats and that I am more skeptical of these type things than anyone on the planet. But my best friend Erik asked me along. I thought I could get out of it by saying I can't afford it, but he said He'd buy making it nearly impossible for me not to go.

So I went. It was very strange. They did things that made me uncomfortable and at times made me wonder if it was damaging to me and the men. But it was really good. It's very secretive (which I hate and am skeptical about) but I can tell you that it helps men uncover issues from their past in an attempt to change their present and future. One of the techniques they use is something called Theophostic Prayer. I watched men process very painful things in their lives in order to try to change thmeselves. It was very tiring and painful to watch and to participate.

My issue to work on was my disdain for the Church and for God. It was kind of hard to do partially because I think I am pretty disconnected from my emotions on these matters. I really weanted and needed to think things through. But since I have thought about this stuff a ton and know how screwed up it makes me, I was mostly just able to view how i saw the world in order to understand myself better. The best part of the weekend for me was to be affirmed and blessed. I have issues with self-loathing and confidence and it helped me to feel better about myself. This is always good unless you're a narcicist. (I work with some narcicists).

The other thing that was so nice was getting to see into the mind of my friend Erik. If anybody has a reason to hate the Church or God it's him but it was so great to watch him work through his stuff. He is an inspiration to me. But I feel really connected to him because the environment smelled of truth, love and authenticity. Men were real. Erik was real. I was as real as I could be. The danger of this kind of set-up is that men feel compelled to follow along and be real. It breaks down any barriers that they might have in order to get to the root of issues. This could be used for great strides in men's lives or deep deep regressiona nd pain. A few times I almost left because I was so scared of what was happening. But like Aslan, it was terrifying , but GOOD.

Later I'll get into the good stuff like homosexuality, racism, sexuality, the poor, atonement, the resurection, Brian McLaren, and Jerry Falwell. But that's it for tonight.

First Time Ever?

Trying to figure out how to do this. Wonder if it worked
Christian.