Authority?

I have been applying for jobs with churches lately. it's become kind of a hobby. When I get to work, I do a fewq things and then I go to a couple web-sites that post jobs for youth pastors. I apply fro a couple a day. I got a questionaire from a church in phoenix today. I am contemplating whether or not to fill it out because they ask questions to find out what I think on some issues. I think they won't like my answers. This is what my post is about tonight.

The first thing they ask me is about my conversion experience. This is not in and of itself a bad question, but the fact that it's the first question tells me something about the church. The next questions are about personality types. I wonder if they are hoping for my personality type to be one that will help me make more converts. What would that be? and is that necessarily wrong? Then they want to know about my "call to ministry". Should I make something up here or say that we are all called to ministry and that I just so happen to not do anything else well. Is that a call? Do they want somebody reallt confident in their "skills" who will lead the ministry like our biblical patriarchs?

Pretty loaded picture eh? Either you're a good American or you question everything and oppose America. Those liberals with their propoganda. I tried to up-load a different one, but couldn't figure out how to work it. Now to the issue of authority. They next list their Statement of Faith. I have seen a lot of these and think they are good to have. After all, you don't want your youth pastor to practice satanism or sacrifice animals during youth night. But here is something they want their youth pastor to believe in, "The Scriptures, both Old and New Testaments, to be the inspired Word of God, without error in the original writings, the complete revelation of His will for the salvation of men and the Divine and final authority for Christian faith and life". That's a lot of capital letters.

1. What does "without error int he original writings" mean? Do we have the original writings? The answer is "No". How can I comment on whether or not the original writings have an errors? What would an error constitute? Is a pencil smudge an error or something beautiful that gives the work some character? Is a wrinkled scroll an error? What is perfection? Was the garden perfect? Will things be perfect in heaven? Even a perfect game in baseball isn't truly perfect. We have said no hits or walks is a perfect game. It allows for the pitcher to throw balls. These things are beutiful. Maybe not perfect. Do I believe that scripture is "perfect and without error"? Maybe. Maybe not... But it's beautiful.

2. The teachings are important and all we have to go on besides our common sense and what our fellow man has deemed good. Thes ethings put together and the work of the Holy Spirit are what guide us in our living and behavior. "the complete revelation of His will for the salvation of men and the Divine and final authority for Christian faith and life". I hope we don't use the interpretation of the N.T. that the American church of the 1800's used. Sola Scriptura. Scripture alone. Maybe I just don't get what the big deal is. I realize this has an important part to play in the church of today, but maybe there is more to it that interprating scripture. Maybe one of you Bible scholars can set me back on course, but there are parts of the scriptures that I will never teach on because I don't get them or becuase I think they go against the teachings of Christ. Oh crap, I just lost two of the 3 people who read my blog. What are Jesus' thoguhts on the destruction of humanity during the flood? Where does he stand on the issue of Saddam and Gamorrah? On the slaughter and destruction of Cannan? I would love to read a book on these issues by a scholar explaining how Jesus would be for these things. It would be great bathroom reading material.

So... once again, I got authority issues. I don't trust the authority of the Bible nor the white men who formed the cannon. But I think the Bible is a beutiful work of art written and formed by men seeking the truth. Men like me and men like you (or women like you). Can that be good enough?

Incomplete Church

My friend Keith showed me how to put pictures on my blog and now my life will never be the same. Thanks Keith.

I believe the Lord has blessed me with the gift of prophecy. I'm serious, though I made the language of that sentence intentionally kooky. I think we all actually have the gift of prophecy but often shackle that gift and keep it in its cage. Each time you or I see an injustice, Christ calls us to speak against it and act accordingly. I realize this may not be the Reformed Churche's definition of prophecy, but I see it in the scriptures and believe that the prophets were a voice that refused to tolerate injustice. They also cooked their food over animal poopy in some instances, but I don't think you have to do that to be a prophet.

Tonight I saw injustice and spoke out against it and it made me feel good but it also cost me. I think that our gifts are often the bane of our existance. My grandmother went to the hospital in Grand Rapids today for a routine thing. She is large and weak and needs a lot of help. Two men tried to help her onto a table but in the process, she broke her femur. (is that how you spell femur?) She is 82 and lives in an assited living facility. She is Dutch and doesn't want to be a burden to anyone. She would much rather suffer greatly than inconvenience anyone else. This may have added to the incident at the hospital. Maybe she didn't say, "Hey! You're about to break my leg!", or something like that. But now she is in a situation in which she has dreaded her whole life. She will have to go to a nursing home and will probably spend the rest of her days there.

Here is the injustice (other than how the orderlies fucked up the transfer from the table to her wheelchair). I arrived after she had been sitting in the ER for 6 hours while waiting for a room. As they wheeled her up, we talked about what will happen next and she said it was a "freek accident" and how she is feeling in general. Once we got to her room, we waited a few minutes for some other staff to help transfer her to the new bed. Remember the last time she got transfered and how that worked out. They asked a fourth staff- a nurse- to help with the move. The nurse was very put out as she was very busy and said, "I can help as long as it's quick". It's hard for me to communicate the tone. It wasn't awful, but it was cold and rude and in front of my grandmother who already doesn't want to be a burden. The anger welled up in me and I said, "Well, I hope it's not too fast because the last time she was moved they broke her leg. Remember she is in pain and should be handled gently". I wans't mean, but I was assertive and I thyink I got my point accross because we were asked to leave while they were transferring her. Later the nurse came and apologized, but it was too late.

My grandmother has never put her needs before others. Ever! Well, maybe not very often. I wanted to tell this nurse about my memories with my grandmother and the care she gave me as a child. How she helped me to form a view about God and marriage that I would never learn in a college or from the Bible. She is a hero and should be treated like one. I want to put a sign up that reminds busy nurses of who they are nursing. It bugs the hell out of me when my grandma talka about being ready to die, but she's right. She is ready to die. Soon she will. Sonner than I'd like. Because of carelessness, my grandmother may die in the hospital rather than in an independant apartment where she could govern much of her own affairs. They owe my grandmother and can't repay her what they took. I hope they can offer her respectful care for a hero while they have her.

I'm going to write another blog now about the broken church.

I've got your "dry spell" right here!

No, seriously, I am writing a new blog now Keith. It's right here.

Tonight I want to write about a lot of different things, but I will not. I am going to write about a men's retreat that the Lord told me I should organize and that you should go to if you have the necessary equipment. It will be a John Eldridge Retreat about becoming more masculine and how to get your wife to do what you want her to... HaHa. Just kidding. It will be on modern day apolegetics and how we can defend our faith from the secular humnanists that attack us every chance they get. Just kidding again. Those would both suck although if I combined the two could make a lot of money from good Christian men who are trying to do what they think is right. And maybe they are.

But this retreat will be a dialogue- buzz word for emergent- Christs' words. I got the idea from a few things I've been reading as well as my friend Keith who is always trying to read the Bible in order to live a better life. (seems pointless I know, but he did go to a Baptist Seminary). I think this will be a good retreat because it will allow for the men on the retreat to spend some time laughing and in silence and in contemplation about what Christ actually said (or at least the account we have of what he said). I've never looked at the scriptures like this and I'm excited to do so. I hope to implement a few experiential activities to help the men think through some issues that come to light to enhance discussion and understanding.

The interesting thing about this retreat is that I am not really an expert on any of this stuff and hope that my friends will come out of obligation so I can spend time with them. Two years ago I led a similar retreat except that most of the time was spent making home-brew and playing poker. This retreat will not incorporate any beer making, only beer drinking and poker later on Saturday night. It should be enlightening and if nothing else, fun and a respite from "normal life". I will hope to contact a few of you to help in the learning process in areas where you are gifted. Wayne, you have a special gift when it comes to understanding and communicating church history. I hope you can come and teach us a bit on the authority of Scripture and how the cannon was formed. Keith, I think you'll be the only pastor. When i have people whimpering from my emotional talks on important discussions, you may need to pray with them and give them good council on what to do now. Also, I don't know how versed you are in lection divina, but maybe you could help lead that too. Chad, you have a very important part too. (I don't think you even read my blog though). You need to bring the poker chips. Juanito, I want you to go because you are so smart and funny. I will even give you $5 off if you promise to be your ussual cheerful and funny self. The date of the retreat is January 4-7. Hope to hear soem feedback from you folks.

End of the War

“It is true, political problems are not solved by love and mercy. But the world of politics is not the only world, and unless political decisions rest on a foundation of something better and higher than politics, they can never do any real good for men. When a country has to be rebuilt after war, the passions and energies of war are no longer enough. There must be a new force, the power of love, the power of understanding and human compassion, the strength of selflessness and cooperation, and the creative dynamism of the will to live and to build, and the will to forgive. The will for reconciliation.” - from Introductions East & West. The Foreign Prefaces of Thomas Merton

I have been reading Merton quotes to post in blogs that I write. I found this interesting and complex. As our gov't tries to figure out what to do in Iraq now I find myself embarrased to not really know how different governmental processes work. When I listn to Diane Rehm on NPR, I am constantly reminded of how stupid I am concerning these things. The topic yesterday was about what to do now in Iraq. This week I read in the Press our 3 options of Go Big, Go Long, Go Home. So I thought i'd comment on my ideas of what to do.

After 911, I was pissed. I was convinced that we should go after somebody. First Afghnistan and then Iraq fed this anger or as Merton calls it, "the passions and energies of war". But as things progressed and things didn't really turn out as pleasant and cut and dry as I had planned, I started to wonder what the hell we were doing. Then I started looking for somebody else to blame. I have learned a lot about what I think about war in the past 6 years but haven't really figured out what to do in Iraq now. I was speaking with a friend yesterday about this and I said that we can't just leave, but I don't want us to stay either. How are we going to get out of there and not screw things up further?

The answer I have come up with is "I just don't know and I hope somebody else does". So, you have now just wasted a few minutes reading this and hearing no clear conclusions. Hope you're happy.

"Letters from a Skeptic"

My good friend Chad gave me a book by a guy named Greg Boyd. I don't know much about Mr. Boyd except he is an "open theist". This kind of means that he believes God is limited in what he knows about the future. He's limited because of how he set up his creation. Mr. Boyd is what the Church would call a heretic. Which really just means that he goes against the teaching of the Church. I actually think of myself fondly as a heretic. Maybe all you folks can start calling me the "King of the Heretics". Maybe you don't think you have areason to call me such an ugly name... I told my friend Keith tonight that I thought Paul was a homosexual. This should get any evangelical Christian pumped up especially since I have no facts or even reason to speculate. I simply do it because I knwo it will irritate people and I like to do that. I think this is funny mostly because evangelical Christian's love Paul and (in my humble opinion) hate homosexuals or at least treat them as second class citizens. Enough of the inflammatory rhetoric though.

My point about this book... Boyd is a professor of Apologetics and the book was written in 1994. I skimmed the book but got a pretty good synopsis of it. My question is this: "What the hell are we supposed to be doing?" This is pretty important to me. Much of my "Christian" life was devoted to making converts to Christianity so that the goats don't go to hell. In the past 3 or so years I have rejected much of what I believed or at least much of what I care about that I believe. Are we supposed to try to change people's minds about God (this is what i used to do) or do something else? Is that we we are supposed to do?

Th obvious other option is a social/works based gospel or some kind of combo. My ultimate question and point in writing this blog is getting my thoughts on paper to try to figure out what I think. What place does apologetics have in my life. Have I bought into a social gospel so much that I may shy away from sharing any kind of apologetic with people I know? Am I more interested in right action or right thinking? What is God more concerend with? I am not even going to get into scripture because I don't think I can be objective. I guess what it boils down to is (I thik I was the first onw to ever ask this question. If somebody has already thoguht of it, don't tell me because I want to live life thinking I really contributed to the progress of man) "What is the Gospel?" What is the "good news"?

If I can't answer this, then how should I think about evangelism? If the good news is changing someone's mind, then what is the best way to do that? Obviously, brain-washing! We should be having brainwashing conventions to change how people think. That doesn't sound like America (or does it?). The only worse thing than being an atheist is being a communist, right (or being gay as we talked about before. We have chosen some pretty arbitrary things to despise in my opinion).

Obviously, I am not an advocate of a mind changing gospel (though I think there may be a place in the Church for mind altering subsatnces). But, do I believe there is anything worth fighting for in terma of the doctrine? What are the things that I care about enough to try to change somebody elses mind? I can't say nothing because I love to tell Chrisitan's that they are wrong on so many issues. Do I think a person needs to believe in the virgin birth in order to be saved? What about the resurection? What about the Bible? Although I definately have my opinions, rarely do I give them. I just don't see the point.

So here is my final paragraph which is supposed to persuade you to think how I do. I think God wants us to do what is right- which isn't news to any of us who suffered through Sunday School. God cares more that we do what is right than that we think right. If I show people how to love others and how to serve others and how to prophecy for what is right in this world, I am carrying out the gospel. If this is true, then can Muslims carry out the gospel? Can Budhists? Can communists? Can Homosexuals? Can I? If these people can live the gospel, then will they experience salvation? I hope so or I'm screwed.

Reading Again

Disclaimer: In my creating this blog-thingy I inadvertantly created two accounts and this is the post from the other blog (which no longer exists, thanks to my beautiful and smart wife).

Thanks to my friend, Keith from work, I have again found the love for reading. I don't think I even knew that i had lost it, but after reading the first chapter of "The Church on the Other Side", I remember how excited I used to get. I think this is McLaren's 2nd book and is about 8 years old but it's still pretty good. I wanted to post a few thoughts I have had while reading the first chapter.1. I love to read. As I stated earlier, reading is fun. In the middle of the chapter I went to Amazon and ordered two books that I've read but have lost: New kind of Christian and A Generous Orthodoxy. I'm going to let our room mate Hilary read NKofC because I think she'll like it.2. What do I want church to be? I had an interview tonight on the phone for this men's retreat I'm going on. (I'm not excited about it. In fact I'm nervous I'll hate it. But this "interview" made me think maybe it won't be as awful as I'd thought). But the guy, Bob, was asking me about things that I want to "work on" while I'm on the retreat. He didn't mean like a craft I found out but instead meant "emotionally". This made me nervous of course but I told him I wanted to wade through some of my discontent and skepticism aout the Church. So he asked me what would I like to see change within the church. I said I would like to see the Church become and authentic community where people's ideas are valued and celebrated. After I had said that I remembered readin in their brochure that they believe that when we are critical about something that it is ussually something we dislike in ourselves. I don't know if I believe that, but maybe in this instance it is true. In what ways am I un-authentic or disingenuous? (I'm thinking right now). Aaah. I want people to think I am all about social justice but when it comes down to it, I do just as little as anybody else. In fact, I hate this about myself and have tried to change it. I think this woudl take a radical life change. Most of my life has been about meetings with people and spending time hanging out. (Maybe there isn't anything wrong with this). I wonder how much of this I would need to give up? What do I need to sacrifice to prove to myself (and if I'm honest, prove to others) that I care about bringing God's justice to Earth?I actually had more thoughts than these, but wanted to highlite things I found telling and meaningful. I'll try to write more tomorrow.

Blogg Blogg Blogg all Day Long

I like it that you folks found my Blogg. I'm still getting used to blogger. I must tell you I just spent 15 minutes trying to figure out how to post a new blogg. I'm still learning to use one of these new fancy "computer" things.

I'm listening to Over the Rhine right now. If you haven't heard them before, check them out. they're from Cincinatti I think and are wonderful. Have you ever heard of Danzig or Metallica? They are a lot like those bands only, it's a female singer and it's mostly accoustic with a much jazzier feel. OTR is also exactly like Judas Priest except it's a husband and wife who sound wonderful and inspire me to do great things. Oops, the CD just changed to Grasshoppah which is a local GR bluegrass band (well, they used to be local but now moved to Portland with the rest of the hippies and artsy types). I do love music though and I need to give Kudos to my attractive and single co-worker who introduced me to some great music.

I want to write a bit about some things going on in my life. Lately, I have been very assertive and have been welcoming conflict of any kind. I ussually am pretty passive because I'm always afraid that i'll hurt people's feelings but for the past few weeks I have bot really cared about people's feelings and have been letting people how I feel before they are really even interested. As a Christian, peacemaker, and idealogical pacifist, this is a problem. I don't think I've been so called "sinning", but I haven't been too interested in trying to nurture people or really help them along in their lives. I think it's because I've been waiting to find out about a job in New Orleans that I have interviewed for. The pastor keeps saying, "We're close to a decision and I'll call you on such and such..." But then such and such a time comes along and he doesn't call. I'm sure there is a good reason, but I'm not really very sympathetic. So there is this anxiety about moving and working for the church again and doing youth ministry again and so forth. But I don't want to say, "Sir, please stop telling me you'll call me on such and such and then not call me on such and such. It makes me be mean to people and I am a pacifist and don't want to get into a fight because I'm anxious about wether or not I'm gonna get this job and I don't want my wife to hate me because I tell her that she 'needs to replace the shower curtain before I get home'". You can see my dillema.

I'm now going to tell you what I think about youth ministry and about the church. I started reading a lot of, so called "Emergent" literature, about 3 years ago. It was reeally nice and enjoyable because most of the books I read were all bitching about church and about people who are dumb and I really resonated with their complaining. I think I like to feel like I know more than everybody else. That's why I like bands that nobody has ever heard of and why I like Emergent stuff and why I am a Christian who doesn't like church. I can sit back and think..."Those dumb-asses. Can't they see what's going on. Judas Priest is so 20 years ago. Let me tell you about Wilco. Those evangelicals are so behind the times. Don't they know that Billy Graham knows nothing about post-modernism?" It's a sickness, this "I'm smarter than everybody" mentallity. But, as you know, "I'm down with the sickness". But back to what I think about the church and about youth ministry.

I wonder if Jesus has self-image problems with his Body. I always think about how stupid the disciples were and how they just screwed everything up. But if Jesus was irritated with his dim-whitted followers, how annoyed and dissapointed he must be with the Chruch today. (Another of my issues is seeing things as all good or all bad). Major issues in the church today I think Christian's are on the totally wrong side. Abortion, homosexual marriage, stem cell, social work, yadda, yadda, yadda. Most times I'm embarrased to be a Christian because of what people think of when I say I'm one. When I became a Christian, I was excited and thought how fortunate I was to be name "Christian" rather than "Muslim" or "Hindu". I'm seriously thinking about going by Chris again.

Youth Ministy: I wasn't sure what to do with all the Emergent stuff because it really changed how I view the Church. I find small churches much more beautiful than large ones. I don't think Emergent is saying big is bad, but what I value about church ussually manifests itself in small settings. But this Chruch in New Orleans is very small and I wonder how a youth minstry will function in such a setting. I don't really have any better ideas than anything else anybody is doing, so I suppose I'll just do that but do it "correctly". (See above paragraph on being smarter than everybody). I'm also nervous that after working with the kids from Wedgwood that I won't know what to do with "normal" kids. Maybe being this comfortable talking about masturbation, digital penetration, and anal insertion won't come in very "handy" (masturbation pun) in a youth group setting. I'll also be pissed if I start telling kids that they're in their offense cycle or to take a time out. These are the things I worry about while I'm waiting for the pastor to call.

I guess that wraps it up. Thanks for feeding my ego by reading what I have to write. i covered more controversial topics this time but probably won't get any "hits" because this post doesn't have any big names/themes in it like: Brian McLaren or Rob Bell or Nancy Pelosi or sex...sex...sex or Jerry Falwell but I guess I have plenty of time to talk about these things as well as James Dobson and Marilyn Manson and global warming.

Ramble... Ramble... Ramble...

I would like to start writing because I think it will help me process my life. My wife one time asked Brian McLaren how her husband could start writing books and he said to start blogging. I think he could have added "He needs to be smart and know how to use English good". But nonetheless, I will begin blogging as often as I can (hopefully daily). It should be fun because I am opinionated and pompous and like to argue. Hopefully we can all come to some better understanding of life and how to live.

For my first Blog, I want to write about a mens' retreat that I went on. I need to preface things by saying that I hate men's retreats and that I am more skeptical of these type things than anyone on the planet. But my best friend Erik asked me along. I thought I could get out of it by saying I can't afford it, but he said He'd buy making it nearly impossible for me not to go.

So I went. It was very strange. They did things that made me uncomfortable and at times made me wonder if it was damaging to me and the men. But it was really good. It's very secretive (which I hate and am skeptical about) but I can tell you that it helps men uncover issues from their past in an attempt to change their present and future. One of the techniques they use is something called Theophostic Prayer. I watched men process very painful things in their lives in order to try to change thmeselves. It was very tiring and painful to watch and to participate.

My issue to work on was my disdain for the Church and for God. It was kind of hard to do partially because I think I am pretty disconnected from my emotions on these matters. I really weanted and needed to think things through. But since I have thought about this stuff a ton and know how screwed up it makes me, I was mostly just able to view how i saw the world in order to understand myself better. The best part of the weekend for me was to be affirmed and blessed. I have issues with self-loathing and confidence and it helped me to feel better about myself. This is always good unless you're a narcicist. (I work with some narcicists).

The other thing that was so nice was getting to see into the mind of my friend Erik. If anybody has a reason to hate the Church or God it's him but it was so great to watch him work through his stuff. He is an inspiration to me. But I feel really connected to him because the environment smelled of truth, love and authenticity. Men were real. Erik was real. I was as real as I could be. The danger of this kind of set-up is that men feel compelled to follow along and be real. It breaks down any barriers that they might have in order to get to the root of issues. This could be used for great strides in men's lives or deep deep regressiona nd pain. A few times I almost left because I was so scared of what was happening. But like Aslan, it was terrifying , but GOOD.

Later I'll get into the good stuff like homosexuality, racism, sexuality, the poor, atonement, the resurection, Brian McLaren, and Jerry Falwell. But that's it for tonight.

First Time Ever?

Trying to figure out how to do this. Wonder if it worked
Christian.