Bounce Around the Room

I'm listening to this right now. It's been a while since I have. I remember when Dave Vogelaar turned me onto Phish for the first time in 1995. This was the album. I was especially in love with "bounce around the room". Thanks Dave.

This is another thing I remember about my friend Dave. I was in a weird time in my life where I was trying to do everything just right. I was and am very insecure. I was in a town, Pella, IA that I didn't really know very many people. I had just converted from Preppy/jock to alt rock/hippie/stoner and was trying to fit in with about all those groups. Dave was just a good guy. Very hospitable and enjoyable. He was driving me around in his Mercury and I was smoking. I'm not sure if he was. He had put on some good music. We were talking about the town of Pella and he was describing something. I made a comment like this: "Oh, is that the nice part of Pella or the crappy 'poor' part of Pella?". I was describing where Dave's parents' house was and where he was raised. It was such an DB thing to say. I don't think I really even felt like that about different parts of Pella, but thought for some reason Dave was from the "nice part of town". Dave was understandably hurt and defensive. He probably soon forgot about it but I never have.

I thank Dave for showing me the mirror and being one of my first examples of how to be hospitable.

Pissed Off Jesus

My friend Wayne asked me in the comment section about some of my views on scripture that appears to conflict with a Jesus who is a pacifist. Here is what i started writing and then, once again decided to make it into an actual post:

I have thought a lot about the cleansing of the temple. Here are a couple thoughts.

1. I don't think he struck anybody. -When I think of violence, I think of striking another human. Though he was pissed, he never hurt anybody physically. However, this still doesn't make sense for the upside down kingdom that I was talking about because he used force to bring about change.

2. I also heard an explaination of the story where the author did some hocus pocus with the Greek explaining that it was less violent that many of us understand. - I don't know Greek so I wasn't very interested in what the speaker or writer had to say. I've been around enough preachers to know that the "actual translation" is going to support whatever their interp is anyways.

3. The story is true, but metaphorical (or more than true as Marcus Borg would say). The importance and value of the story shouldn't be on whether or not he actually used a whip or hit people or was cursing. The truth in the story is that he was pissed about people marginalizing the people and selling forgiveness. The Temple leaders were profitting on the sins of humanity and whoring out a sacred and holy place. The story could include Jesus poking people in the eyes three stooges style and wiping boogers on them and the importance would still be on how God wants reconcilliation and redemption to be carried out and how to not carry it out.


And, I don't think that even if he used violence, (3 stooge style or whip style) it doesn't fit with the rest of the gospel. So, if he did in fact use violence, and one is reading the story literally, maybe Jesus wasn't a pacifist. Maybe he will come back with a sword to kill and destroy even though he said to turn the other cheek. Maybe he only meant "love your enemies" until I return and then we can all have a good time killing them and making fun of them and enjoying the slaughter of our loved ones together as one happy family. In my mind that wouldn't make sense. Why would he teach peace for now until he returns to kill. It seems like the white military bringing a peace offering of small pox infected blankets to the unsuspecting and trusting Native Americans. It sets up a superiority hierarchy. Christians on top... the rest on the bottom... and then muslims under that... and homosexuals under that... and homosexual muslims over in a different chart. (sorry about that... i thought it was funny).

But maybe I'm wrong. This is actually possible and quite likely as I'm wrong a lot of the time. But the non-pacifist Jesus doesn't make sense to me. It did for a while, but now it doesn't. If I'm wrong, I'll be damned...literally. but if I'm right, then the mean Jesus people will be OK as well as the pacifist Jesus people. That would be beautiful.

Pacifism

Thanks to Allison for probing my brain in her comments from my last blog.

She asked and I don't quote: Was Jesus really a pacifist or what do you think a pacifist looks like?

So I began writing this and then decided to make it a new blog entry:

"Allison-- Good questions. Thanks for the prayers too. Here is a response from the top of my head:First, I think Christ will return and is returning for more than just the righteous... But that is neither here nor there.

But I'd describe the pacifism of Jesus as a paradigm/kingdom that flipped the tables on our understanding of power and relational systems. This is described well when Jesus talks about how to treat our enemies "turn the other cheek", "walk with the Roman soldier 2 miles", "love your enemy". A practical example from the scriptures are the stories of the woman caught in adultery and when Peter cuts off the ear of the soldier in the garden.

In both situations a person could justify actions of violence on the party involved. The religious folks who wanted to stone the woman caught in adultery. They were legally (Moses' Law) allowed and even obligated to stone her for being caught in adultery. But Christ shows a better way. Not only was the way better for the woman, but for those ready to throw stones. I believe it is more important to Jesus for us to live in peace and love than to follow the Law of Moses. He showed a new kingdom by which justice is not brought by the sword but through an intentional act of love and forgiveness.

And in the Peter sotry, Jesus must rebuke his most faithful follower because Peter is trying to bring about this new kingdom via the sword-- literally. Peter was reasonably justified to strike the soldier/slave- Malchus (I think that was his name) because they were coming to kill Jesus. It was self defense. He was coming to the aid of God. As Peter shows, when we come to God's aid, we rarely do things right. We ussually really have our own agendas in mind. Instead, Jesus rebuke's Peter and puts the ear back on like he's a magician at a birthday party. (I think it would be great if Jesus would have pulled a coin out of the ear before he put it back on. He could have combined the this story and the story where he pulls the coin out of the fish. I don't think he thought it all the way through or it would have happened like that. See picture of my ear with coin below).

Anyway... I think this is actually the gospel. It is the salvation of a new way to live. It overthrows the way that man has lived through our entire history: might makes right... An eye for an eye... homeland security... etc. Through this new kingdom, God brings redemption. through the death and resurection of an innocent man/God we can experience redemption in our lives (and deaths). It is the only plan that could work because it is the only plan that overthrows the tainted part of our nature. "

So... I'm pretty sure I'm going to hell for this way of thinking. Can somebody please confirm that? I know it's not all worked out and that it's pretty messy. But I am pretty sure I believe at least 26% * of what I wrote.

* I have the right to change that number at any time. No animals were injured in the making of this blog.

Violence

I've been trying to figure out how to process being hit in the face. Violence is such a weird thing. I'd like to point out some feelings I've been having and then write about what I think they mean.

1. Pitty/compassion- The individual that punched me has I'm sure been the victim of violence many times. I genuinely feel bad for this young man. It isn't fair that he has never been shown how to process strong feelings of anger and dissapointment. It's painful to think about this soon to be man's future. He will most likely wind up in prison.

2. Anger- Though I am aware of the cycle of abuse passed down from one Dad to his son... it has now been passed down to me. And that sucks. It brings out angry feelings that I haven't felt in a long-long time. My anger is something that effects every relationship I have I think. I either take up the victim role of a person who deserves and demands your pity or I take on the role of the asshole who deserves and demands your obedience and respect.

3. Helplessness- As I have been re-discovering my idealism about life in general, I find myself in a strange spot. I am a man who is aspiring to live a life filled with peace and grace. So I wonder if pacifism can really work. In the job I'm in, is there any other way to help young violent men deal with their issues? How much can a person take before he can no longer be compassionate and must now move on to try to bring about the Kingdom in another area?

4. Hopelessness- As I try to figure out what to do next, I realize I don't have a lot of marketable skills for a new job in the state with the second highest unemployment rate in the US. So I suppose I'll stay in my job to try to be an agent of grace not because I choose to, but because I must. Speak Lord for your servant is listening.

The Heart of Christianity- Marcus Borg

I'm reading this book. I haven't read a book in a while for leisure and this is a good one. It is taking me a while to really dig in, but it is full of really interesting goodies. It really explains how a "more-than-literal" translation of the bible makes sense. It's what I've believed for a while now, but he makes sense of what I believe I guess.

He says that his book should be a bridge between the gap of Fundys and Liberals. That's nice and it makes sense. If only the Fundys could see it that way. I guess I'm skeptical. Jodi on the other hand is reading a book called "Rescuing the Bible from Fundamentalism". She says it is rocking her to her core. That's good I guess. She has really been reading a lot. If I'm not careful, she is going to be smarter than me very soon. Her book so far has been much more critical of Fundamentalism and has been deconstructing the earlier religious paradigm of the Enlightenment. I can't wait to hear about how he puts things back together.

Oh... I got punched in the face tonight at work. It hurt a moderate amount. I was pretty juiced up before and even more-so after. Who would think that 252 could move so fast? Trying to figure out how to live as a pacifist when I have to use physical force to solve problems at work. Throw up a prayer for me to be an agent of grace in a dark place.

Sigur Ros

Sorry about the nudity. I'm going to try to blog more. Part of that will mean that I'll be posting on things I'm watching or listening to.

Sigur Ros

I heard of this band a couple years ago from my friend Jonathan Ryskamp. Now my other friend Dwight that I work with has given me my first taste of the icelandic band. Dwight knows a lot about music and movies. Seriously a LOT!. More, in fact, than anybody I know. Sigor get a chance to listen, check them out sometime. Here is a web-site.

http://www.sigur-ros.co.uk/

Story Time

Today I read stories to high school and middle school youth from my church. Well, it wasn't really "stories", but a part of a story. I am very inspired since my mission trip and started a book study with my kids to get them excited about serving each other this next year at youth group. We are reading Donald Miller's book Blue Like Jazz. It is very good. I have read it several times and am still amazed every time I read it.

So, I got a rocking chair out, made some cookies and got some millk out. The kids sat around and listened to me read two chapters of a book. Some of them made artsy things and some of them just sat and listened. It was very beautiful. They seemed to really enjoy being read to.

We talked about how we imagine God to be like. Is he white? fat? loud? angry? etc. Some people drew pictures of God. We also talked about "sin nature". Miller seems big on this. I'm not sure of The Episcopal Churchs' stance on the original state of humans with their/our sin, but I must say I flip flop. It's not important I guess though. I agree that we are all broken and need to try to become whole or whole-er.

I'm excited for chapters 3-4 next Wed.

Cincinnati

Last week I was in Cincinnati with a few kids from my church. We were on a mission trip with Group Work Camps. It was a great experience. I had some great experiences.

1. I think that I found my love for the poor once again. I guess I never really trult lost it, but a few of the job sites really reminded me on a micro-level why my heart breaks on a macro-level. One site was at a community center run by a church. The kids there reminded me of when me and Jodi were running our pickle ministry when we first moved to our neighborhood. The kids were so willing to just be picked up and held and ready to snuggle with people who were total strangers.

2. Finding my love for the poor again part II. Some of the kids worked at a food pantry stocking shelves. The people that came in were allowed a certain amount of food per month. They were genuinely poor because it was kind of a hassel to get in. The organization logged a lot of info on each person who came in and what they took. I imagine that folks who must live like this spend much of their day going from place to place just to survive. It must take all day long to feed one's family.

3. I was able to help feed all the students serving on the trip. My job was hospitality coordinator. I mostly supervised the kids making dinner and cleaning up. All of the groups did well and I was proud of the food we served. Later, when one of my kids asked me about my favorite part of the week, I told them that I really enjoyed cooking for large groups of people and organizing and delegating the jobs to get the work done. Yesterday I found out about a job in Grand Rapids that would be doing those two things at a soup kitchen. I'm very excited about it and have been filling out my resume and cover letter to send out. It really would be the perfect job for me.

4. My heart was softened. Seeing the poverty in Cincinnati softened my heart. I am a firm believer in being intentional with the things you do. Going to Cincinnati was intentional but I didn't know I'd come back viewing the marginalized of Grand Rapids in a different way. Tonight we went for coffee with a student and a homeless man asked me for money for a hot-dog. Instead we were able to buy him a snadwich from 4 Friends Coffee House (which I found out is closing in a week). I don't say this to tell you what a great guy I am, but instead to tell you how far I had strayed from being compassionate about the poor of Grand Rapids. I suppose it's natural to feel hostile towards a group if you have been robbed and stolen from by that group. This is the problem with lumping human beings into groups. It's so hard to see the most beautiful of all creation when you have decided that they are eveil before you have evn met them.

5. I was partners with a Pentacostal from Canada while on the trip. We had some great discussions. I think we were both very careful with what we said and how we described our views. This was good. He taught me a lot about grouping I guess and I learned that Pentacostals are crazy but still beautiful.